“Mulligan” is a term in golf for a do-over. It’s like the first effort didn’t count – no penalty, no stroke – just a gracious opportunity to try again as if the first try never happened.
I’d guess that most of us wish life were like that, at least sometimes. ”I wish I wouldn’t have said that,” (James 1:26) or “I never should have gone there. If I only knew then what I know now.” But we’re pretty much stuck with our poor choices and the consequences. That’s life.
Still, we DO have an option, and that’s why I’m bringing this up. It’s an option we can exercise every day, and it works (for me) something like this: In the evening, when the day is done and I turn off my phone and computer, I spend a few quiet minutes thinking, “if I could live this day over, what would I do differently?“ And since it’s just one day, and fresh in memory, I can remember everything that happened: where I went, who I engaged with, what I said, what I purchased – the whole day is still fresh in memory, so I can recall its events with detail. Was there a rash word? Or an opportunity to encourage someone that I let pass? What should I have done differently??
Some things can’t be fixed, of course. But during this quiet time, I can make a list of those things that must be addressed. This means fixing/changing old behaviors, NOT justifying them. That someone is unkind to you does not justify a rude response. And of course it also means reconciliation and restitution. Own up to your faults and make amends. Humility.
I have lots of old regrets, but this helps me not make any new ones. As His workmanship, I truly want to become the man God wants me to be. We will never reform the “old man” (Col. 3:9) but we can muzzle him. ”Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.” James 1:12
This is, for me, a way to pro-actively endure temptation. I see tendencies in my life toward inappropriate behavior, and by daily review I can anticipate situations and plan proper responses. At the same time, I can go back tomorrow to make things right with people I may have offended today.
This is not “life-by-guilt-trip” because, as you are no doubt well aware, there are LOTS of folks out there who are actively looking for people or things to offend them. Some folks prefer “high dudgeon” to reconciliation, and airs of moral superiority to healed relationships. Some things can’t be fixed. But, if it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men. (Romans 12:18)
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