Foreword: There are some people who think that because they were raised by Christian parents and never changed to some other religion or became atheists, that they are “Christians” by default. This is NOT what I’m talking about.
” …among whom also we all once conducted ourselves in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, just as the others.“
Ephesians 2:3 NKJV (emphasis added)
You don’t have to teach children to be self-centered. Two toddlers cannot amicably divide one cookie; each will insist that the other “got the bigger half.” A child with crumbs on his face will lie about having been in the cookie jar, and a child late for school will blame his mom for the tardiness.
We come with certain types of behavior “hard-wired.” The human heart – yours and mine – is “deceitful above all things and desperately wicked.” No wonder Paul cried out, “oh wretched man that I am. Who will deliver me from this body of death?” This is the cry of anguish from a heart that sees itself. And, as I said, we’re all hard-wired with this corrupt set of default settings.
God has no plan for reforming our wicked hearts. Rather, His plan has been to replace them with hearts that are tender toward righteousness and inclined toward what is good. This He provides when we are born again. We have an old nature that can ONLY sin, and we also have a new nature that finds sin abhorrent.
This is not abstract or theoretical. Once you are saved, you experience this tension between the way you used to be and the way you ought to be. You may be overwhelmed with guilt and regrets. We all may have YEARS of entrenched bad habits and really ugly ways of relating to others, handling certain situations and all the rest. All that bad stuff is the hard-wired “default settings” in your character, and changing those defaults is where the battle is fought. How do you make those changes?
Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?–unless indeed you are disqualified.
2 Corinthians 13:5 NKJV
Examine yourself. I’m not persuaded that Paul was simply telling the folks in Corinth to self-evaluate and determine whether they were saved, though that may be part of it. But I don’t think it does violence to the passage to suggest that “in the faith” points to lifestyle and not just to the time one is reborn. Christ in us should manifest. Self-examination, possibly with a journal, may help. Examine your life for specific incidents that have caused guilt, regret, or pain to others. Particulars need not be catalogued, but the existence of unresolved problems should be noted.
Then you must take corrective action. Go to the people involved and make things right. If you insulted or embarrassed or hurt someone, you need to go to that person, acknowledge your error and make it right. If you secretly damaged someone’s property and never paid for repairs, own up to it and pay for it. As much as possible, be reconciled with those you’ve hurt or offended, and make restitution in cases where restitution is called for (Romans 13:8).
At the same time, examine each day when it concludes. If you had the day to live over again, what would you do differently? Make things right as soon as possible for today’s mis-steps, and start living so you don’t have any regrets at the end of each day. It’s difficult and painful to get started, but as old wounds are healed and you realize moment-by-moment that the rash word today means a humiliating apology tomorrow,
You see where this goes. We are His workmanship, and God can create a clean heart and renew a right spirit within us, but none of this is automatic. The Spirit within us does His part, but we still have to do ours. And while you may always have some old regrets for things you cannot change, you won’t be making any NEW regrets.
The point of this exercise is “to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man,” – to make Eph. 3:16 a reality in your life, instead of having it just be a theological abstraction. By replacing your old habits and self-consciously living a Christ-centered life, your behavioral defaults are changed. The “old” man, when attacked, would strike back by default. The carnal nature seeks to accumulate, to self-aggrandize, to seek revenge when hurt. Before being saved, we did not think these things out and conclude a response: “Hmmmm …. Billy insulted me. Wonder what I should do and what the options are …” Not at all. You’d respond in kind as a default response.
What we want is for our “default” responses to life’s challenges, assaults and adversities will be Christian responses. Without really thinking, you automatically hold your tongue. You automatically extend grace; you automatically respond as Christ would have you respond. Your mind has been renewed (re-formatted) and you have been transformed.
This is the hard work of Christianity. But as you work at it, it gets easier. And training yourself to live a life that does not create regrets will lead to a life of peace and righteousness.
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